Oppression Over: Scotland declares independence with show of force

Nicola Sturgeon is leading the country into a new era of global significance. Photo: Colin Mearns. 2nd May 2019 / Andrew Learmouth, Journalist / @andrewlearmonth PRESIDENT Nicola Sturgeon declared a new era of “freedom and prosperity under Scottish rule” for the country after the declaration of independence yesterday. The new President also announced several other developments in her maiden speech to the Scottish Parliament. Outlining her vision for the country, Sturgeon declared that “there has never been a better time to be a Scot, or even a member of the Scottish Isles.”

“We have a country with a proud and noble history, and it is time our people tasted freedom once more,” Sturgeon continued. This freedom, she proclaimed, would come through the declaration of Scotland as the legal successor to the United Kingdom at the United Nations. The desire for such a declaration was given a boost overnight with the successful recapture of the Faslane Trident missile base. 2000 soldiers from the Scottish National Army entered HMNB Clyde, achieving a quiet recapture of the Scottish assets without any bloodshed. Speaking about the operation, Major-General Duncan McCullen told a story of broad success. “The 25 United Kingdom soldiers stationed at the base have declared allegiance to the Office of the Scottish President. They’ve been welcomed into our ranks as proud patriots.” Reports from Downing Street suggest that Theresa May, United Kingdom Prime Minister, was struggling with the ongoing constitutional crisis. Other dissatisfied leaders in the Kingdom have spoken openly about prospects of their own independence. Carwyn Jones, First Minister of Wales, openly proclaimed that “the UK has left the door of independence ajar. If Scotland can creep through, the rest of us will follow.” May is also in urgent talks with Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson regarding Scotland’s recent international law claims. Scotland has claimed not only to replace the United Kingdom within the United Nations, but also taking its place as a nuclear-weapon state under the Nuclear NonProliferation Treaty (NPT) following the capture of HMNB Clyde. Recognition under the NPT would mean that Scotland would have legal authority under international law to operate nuclear weapons. This would also enable direct negotiations with other nuclear weapon states about future developments. When questioned, Johnson was skittish about the occurrences. “We don’t believe those Northern toffs will be doing anything of the sort” he responded when asked about recent events. “Their place is under our foot, not on the Security Council, and we will act to make sure of it.” Following consistent polling suggesting that Scots preferred an independent state, and poor negotiations by the UK with their exit from the European Union, President Sturgeon declared independence. The Scottish State Department has already announced plans for maintaining its affiliation with the European Union (EU). However, this plan has received lukewarm support from one key stakeholder. Permanent Representative of Spain to the EU Juan Aristegui has suggested that Scotland will not be recognised. Speaking in Brussels, Aristegui claimed that unilateral declarations “cannot be mistaken for legitimate claims to governance. Giving representation to free-spirited nationalists will only see turmoil spread throughout the Union.” However, President Sturgeon is confident this hurdle can be cleared. “Naysayers be damned! The Scottish state is not an oddity, nor is it an aberration, but instead the true successor to Fake Britain. We are not England, we are not Britain, we are Scotland!”

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