Encyclopedia of Human Relationships Relational Messages
Contributors: Harry T. Reis & Susan Sprecher Print Pub. Date: 2009 Online Pub. Date: April 17, 2009 Print ISBN: 9781412958462 Online ISBN: 9781412958479 DOI: 10.4135/9781412958479 Print pages: 1346-1347 This PDF has been generated from SAGE knowledge. Please note that the pagination of the online version will vary from the pagination of the print book.
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10.4135/9781412958479.n437 University of RochesterIllinois State University Paul Watzlawick, Janet Beavin Bavelas, and Don Jackson, prominent researchers of the Mental Research Institute in Palo Alto, CA (the Palo Alto Group), were among the first researchers to formulate two fundamental dimensions of all communication: Apart from their content or report level (what is said), all messages also carry a relational or command level (how it is said). This definition makes two important points that are the focus of this entry: (1) All messages contain information about the relationship, and (2) all relationships exist through and are defined by message exchange.
Relational Messages Provide Information about the Relationship Relational messages provide interactants with information about the nature of the relationship, the interactants' status in the relationship, and the social context within which the interaction occurs. Relational messages play a particularly important role in those interpersonal relationships that have the potential of becoming increasingly more interdependent (one partner responds to the behavior of the other partner). Because they provide information above and beyond the concrete content of a message, relational messages are considered metacommunication (meta-means “about”; thus, these messages are about messages). Consider a father asking his daughter: “Is that actually your new boyfriend?” Depending on the quality of their relationship (e.g., both father and daughter have a more or less loving relationship), as well as the relative status of each person (e.g., the father may be more or less authoritative), as well as the specific context within which the statement is made (e.g., the family may sit at the dinner table), the father may ask this question teasingly, angrily, or admiringly. Enormous research efforts have been expended to identify the kind of information that people send and receive during social interactions. Virtually every one of these research efforts owes a conceptual debt to Gregory Bateson, an anthropologist who studied the New Guinea Latmul tribe in the 1930s and who later contributed significantly to the Palo Alto Group. He proposed that relational messages provide information about Page 2 of 5
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relational control: the extent to which one person possesses the power to influence the other person. An interaction can be either complementary (one person is dominant, whereas the other person is submissive; e.g., one person decides where to go for dinner, whereas the other person acquiesces) or symmetrical (both people are equally submissive or equally dominant; e.g., both partners either assert their views or submit to one another). William Schutz added two additional kinds of information that people communicate through relational messages—namely, inclusion, which is the need to establish and maintain satisfactory relationships, and affection, which involves the perception that one is liked, loved, and held in regard by another. In an exhaustive review of the dimensions that inform relational messages, Judee Burgoon and Jerold Hale deduced seven types of information referred to as fundamental relational themes: (1) dominance/submission (similar to relational control), (2) level of intimacy (similar to affection or affiliation), (3) degree of similarity (the extent to which people coordinate their nonverbal and verbal behaviors), (4) task/ social orientation (the extent to which people are engaged in work-related or leisurely interactions), (5) degree of formality (the extent to which communication is distanced and serious), (6) degree of social composure (the extent to which people present themselves as confident and competent in a conversation), and (7) level of emotional arousal (the extent to which an interaction is pleasant and active). Of these, relational control and the level of intimacy are the two primary dimensions that are metacommunicated in all message exchanges.
Relational Messages Define Interpersonal Relationships Relational messages have been examined from functional-strategic and consequentialcultural perspectives. The first perspective captures all [p. 1346 ↓ ] those relational strategies and tactics people use to pursue a concrete relational goal (e.g., raising one's voice to win an argument). The second perspective is based on the idea that we tend to frequently reify our relationships (i.e., we often say that we “have a relationship,” much like we have cars or clothes). Yet relationships are not tangible; rather, they are instantiated through everyday talk that is often mundane and trivial. It is this kind of Page 3 of 5
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day-to-day talk that often becomes patterned and idiosyncratic, particularly in long-term relationships. The consequential approach to relational messages suggests that these messages make up the lion's share of all relational communication and consequently fabricate a relational culture. Much like any other culture, relationships thus possess a unique language complete with routines and norms. Consider a couple that has been married for 40 years; it is likely that this couple has a richly developed relational culture with its own rituals and habits.
Relational Messages Are Communicated Nonverbally Relational messages are commonly exchanged via nonverbal cues (e.g., eye gaze, vocal cues). Consequently, relational messages are richest in face-to-face interactions, where people can use a maximum of nonverbal channels, such as the voice, the face, the eyes, or the body. It is important to note that no one nonverbal cue carries the entire relational message. Rather, nonverbal cues are processed together with other nonverbal cues. However, some nonverbal cues tend to do a better job at communicating the aforementioned relational themes. These nonverbal cues are referred to as nonverbal immediacy cues and send relational messages of physical and psychological closeness as well as interpersonal warmth. Part of a larger construct called nonverbal involvement, these immediacy cues consist concretely of touch, close proxemic distancing, direct body orientation, forward lean, eye gaze, and positive affect cues (smiling, vocal warmth). Indeed, perceptions of dominance and affiliation are differentiated primarily on the basis of the presence (or absence) of positive affect cues. Susanne Jones
10.4135/9781412958479.n437 See also Further Readings
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Burgoon, J. K.,
and Hale, J. L. The fundamental topoi of relational communication . Communication Monographs vol. 51 (1984). pp. 193–214. http:// dx.doi.org/10.1080/03637758409390195 Burleson, B. R., Metts, S.,
& Kirch, M. W. (2000). Communication in close relationships . In C. Hendrick, ed. , & S. S. Hendrick (Eds.), Close relationships: A handbook (pp. pp. 245– 258). Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage. http://dx.doi.org/10.4135/9781452220437 Knapp, M. L.,
& Hall, A. L. V. (2009). Interpersonal communication and human relationships (6th ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon. Sillars, A. L.,
& Vangelisti, A. L. (2006). Communication: Basic properties and their relevance to relationship research . In A. Vangelisti, ed. , & D. Perlman (Eds.), The Cambridge handbook of personal relationships (pp. pp. 331–351). New York: Cambridge University Press.
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