KARE KRONICLE

KARE PROGRAM

FALL 2017 ISSUE

Welcome to the Fall 2017 issue of KARE Kronicle, featuring news of our inspiring Character-Education & Social & Emotional Learning program at Palm Desert Charter Middle School! In this issue: What is KARE?—page 2 Mentoring: An Ancient & Future Art—page 3 

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“Light in the Darkest of Times,” by Shafaa Munjal—page 4  Attention Masters (Mindfulness)—page 5  Wisdom Writers—page 6 

KARE Updates—page 7 

Contribute—page 8

What Is KARE? KARE means Kindness, Attention, Respect and Excellence. KARE is an in-school intervention program, available to all students at Palm Desert Charter Middle School.

ATTENTION MASTERS— Classroom Provides students with mindfulness tools for developing concentration, calmness, and steadiness.

INDIVIDUAL MENTORING In-depth, 1-on-1 crisis mentoring for any student; ongoing mentoring for any student facing challenges.

WISDOM WRITERS A character education-based writing program exploring the expression of core values.

ATTENTION MASTERS— Groups Mindfulness training in attention and focusing skills, as well as stress management. Attention Masters also promotes emotional balance and the development of empathy and compassion for self and others.

MINDFUL PARENTING Providing parents with tools for improved communications, conflict resolution, and understanding.

KARE Mentor-Director, Jacob Shefa, Ph.D., has worked with both middle and high-school students for two decades. His research is on the development of both empathy and compassion through mentoring, mindfulness and writing.

Parents or Guardians: Please see a school counselor if you want your child to be in KARE.

KARE 2017-2018—and Beyond! KARE addresses the other side of the report card—mentoring and self-direction; character education, social-emotional learning; mindfulness and “wisdom” writing. Each of our three counselors serve nearly 500 students. This makes a program like KARE a vital opportunity for students to receive critical supplemental services. This year, in addition to ongoing programs, KARE will offer a special Mindful Parenting class in the evening for parents or guardians who wish to further develop their communication skills. We will also expand our Attention Masters classroom program (seven sessions of 15-20 minute length, in which students learn basic mindfulness tools for strengthening attention and focus, stress management, and emotional balance) into more classrooms. Weekly groups include Attention Masters and Wisdom Writers. Groups are held at lunch times in order to complement the regular academic day, and to facilitate social and emotional learning skills. Page 2

KARE is made possible by the generosity of private donors, whose continuing support is inspired by the firm commitments of the PDCMS Foundation and Governing Boards—as well as contributions of any amount from individuals like yourself. Your contribution goes directly to serve students and to sustain KARE. KARE is available to every student at PDCMS; through Individual Mentoring for a time of challenge, crisis or trauma; Attention Masters for mindfulness training, and Wisdom Writers, for its character education-based approach to the art of Writing. KARE is also available for parents through our Mindful Parenting evening class.

Your support is needed (see page 8)!

KA RE K RO N IC L E

Mentoring: The Ancient and Modern Art of Reflection and Encouragement by Jacob Shefa, Ph.D. The origins of the word, Mentor can be traced back thousands of years to Homer’s Odyssey. In that epic poem, Odysseus, king and warrior, has been in exile for many years. The development of Odysseus’ young son, Telemachus is left in the care of an elder of the tribe—Mentor. At certain parts of the story, we learn that Mentor is sometimes actually the Goddess of Wisdom—Athena—in disguise. Symbolically, this rich image suggests that a mentor can become a voice for the vital quality of Wisdom. What place does ‘wisdom’ have in the life of a middle-school student? The poet, T.S. Eliot wrote: “Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge? Where is the knowledge we lost in information?” In the context of the ‘betwixt and between’ years of middleschool, ‘wisdom,’ and so, mentoring, can take many forms, including: 

Reflecting accurately in order to help a student see themselves, their relationships, and their goals, hopes, and dreams more clearly.

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Encouraging a student facing crisis or trauma to find threads of perseverance and hope, and to even discover meaning in great difficulty.

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Challenging a student to develop such character traits as tenacity, vision, and compassion for self and for others.

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Inspiring a student to be true to their unique traits and talents, while growing steadier in meeting their academic and life commitments.

In many ways, the whole work of mentoring is strongly connected to the original meaning of the word, Education, from two Latin words—educere and educare—which mean, respectively; to bring forth from within, and to guide or to lead.

An effective mentor reflects, encourages, challenges, and inspires a young person to begin to find their gifts and talents—to bring forth from within— with which they can make a contribution to the community, and, one day, to the world. An effective mentor is also committed to be a role model—to guide, to lead—for their students. How can we ask our students to grow, develop, and change, if we, as elders, are not leading the way? Once when I was speaking to a student about the importance of ‘following your dreams,’ he asked me, “What is your dream, Doctor Shefa?” I told him that I was very fortunate, as my dream was working with students like him! Mentoring, a one-on-one relationship between a youth whose life is just opening and a wisdom-bound elder, is desperately needed in today’s wired, mediated world. This ancient art and science inspires the best of our kindness, attention, respect, and excellence—or, better said, KARE.

A Little Bit of Light in the Darkest of Times by Shafaa Munjal, 6th-Grade Winner

Writes of Passage Essay Contest, Spring 2017 I thought that I was always going to live a perfect life. My father would be there with me and we would be together forever. Little did I know that it was all going to change overnight. It happened in 2008, in Ludhiana, a small town in India. One evening my mom received a devastating phone call, telling her to come to the hospital as soon as possible. At that time, I was only three and didn’t know what was going on, so I continued playing with my toys while my mother rushed toward the car, tears streaming down her eyes. I remember asking my older brother why my mom was crying, but he just shook his head, and didn’t respond. A few hours later, I found out that my father had been in a car accident and unfortunately, he had passed away. My mom, whom I had depended on solely as a toddler, was now in so much mental and emotional anguish. She retracted into a shell and was no longer the chirpy, happy mother I remembered and needed. Seeing her this way, I too experienced her trauma, though I did not understand it at the time. The only parent I had now, my mom, had suddenly become unreceptive to me and my older brother’s little joys and laughter, our smiles and hugs. While my brother drowned himself in studies, for me music became a pathway to an alternate universe where I could act as if nothing had happened. I allowed the music to drift me off somewhere else. I played songs on CDs, listened to music channels on the radio, and connected with the language of music. The days when I was feeling down and needed comfort, I listened to cheerful and lively music that kept me happy. That’s what lifted me out of those sad times. The songs that I listened to were in a different language than what most people would listen to. I didn’t know any English at the time, so I would listen to Hindi music. Hindi was the language I spoke at home. I realized that I could escape the sadness and agony that accompanies grief by listening to perky songs that transported me to a world where I was a happy girl. In that world, I could relive the memories of learning to ride a tricycle with the help of my father, or being at the beach with my family. I appreciated each scene the songs led my mind to imagine, and hated going back to reality. Even while listening to beautiful music, I knew this imaginary, lively world was not reality, it was going to end as soon as the song was over, and that things would be the way they were. A couple years later, I moved from India to Canada with my family to have a fresh start. It was hard because my mom was struggling to get a job, so I had to get used to getting the answer. “No, we can’t afford to buy that right now, Shafaa.”.I sensed it was not going to be a smooth road for me, and our fresh start might not be an easy one. I had never felt so different from others my age, because most of them had never

experienced what I had in just the first five years of their lives. I felt even more different because everyone in school could speak in English, while all I could say was a bunch of garbled words in Hindi. Sooner or later I started speaking in English, and became very fluent in it. Little did I know I was losing my mother tongue, Hindi, because I barely spoke it anymore. The music that I had been listening to was in Hindi, so very soon the songs that used to cheer me up did nothing at all. The wound that could have been healed, reopened. When music didn’t console me, the times of sadness and misery came back. For many days I returned to being the sad little girl I had been until I encountered something new—books, reading. My older brother spent a lot of time in the library studying, and since my mom was working all the way until late at night, I stayed in the library with him. Since we stayed there for hours, I would occasionally doze off. My brother would pester me to stay awake, sit straight and read. Imagine a five year-old told to sit still, keep quiet, and make no movement. Since we were at the library, my brother would get me picture books, and sometimes even chapter books to read to pass time. I was to do this for more than four hours at a stretch. I still remember vividly that when I first read a book, it was so boring that I slept through it. When I woke up, my saliva was all over the page where I left reading and dozed off. I was so embarrassed that I immediately turned my head and looked all around the table to see if people had noticed. There stood my brother, laughing at my plight. I felt like running away and becoming invisible. Today, I totally give him the credit for helping me develop the habit of reading. At first there wasn’t much to do in the library except sit beside my brother and wait endlessly for him to finish his studies. But later on, I feasted on each of the short tales and picture books for kids. My favorite was Harry Potter because he also lost his family, and I could relate to his experiences. Sometimes it felt as if I was in the book because we had so much in common. As I continued to read more books, they started to heal me from the pain due to the loss of my father, and released me into the alternate universe that I had experienced when I used to listen to music. As I reflect on the last few years, I gained a closer understanding of the instrumental role music and books have played in my life, and how they helped me navigate through the downs, and create my own ups. I learned that there is always going to be a little bit of light even in the darkest of times.

Shafaa with her father, Dr. Guleria, and Dr. Shefa

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PDCM STUDENTS

PDCM TEACHERS

On Attention Masters

On Attention Masters

“For me, the Attention Masters experience has 

“I appreciated the opportunity for my students

been a joy and a time to relax. I’m usually al-

and myself to explore ways that we can focus

ways stressed about something. Mindfulness

our attention. It was nice to take a few mo-

can help me in every aspect of my life.”

ments to breathe and notice what is going on

“When I am not having a good day, I use the

around us and inside of us.” Mrs. Rosam

mindfulness tools, and then I do not feel as 

“My students very much enjoyed the lessons

stressed anymore.”

taught. The lessons inspired them to take a few

“I like Attention Masters because it helps me

minutes, to breathe, to think, and to be aware.”

to be calm and to focus more.”

Mrs. Lieberman

“It helps me to stop and think, and to take the 

“Students enjoyed the exercises that helped

anger out of me.”

them counter negative thinking and distrac-

“The experience of Attention Masters was

tion. After participating, students were posi-

awesome because I learned to concentrate.”

tive and energized. I like the reflective aspects

“Attention Masters has helped me a lot be-

of creating self-awareness.” Mrs. Girten

cause now I’m listening better and doing way 

Each week my students looked forward to it.

better in school and at home.”

They would literally watch the clock in antici-

“I liked it because it taught us how to relax

pation of your arrival. We all enjoyed that

and see other things in the world, and to not

each week you had a brief, but meaningful les-

sweat the small stuff!”

son. I feel like test-taking has become a less

Attention Masters was like a second chance

stressful time. The students remind each other

for my life. I loved these sessions!”

of the tips you taught them, and I love seeing that.” Mrs. Breidenbach 

Attention Masters has been very effective for my students. They enjoyed the lessons and were very focused after each session. This program helps them to organize their thoughts and find calmness in their day. I saw many ‘aha’ moments!” Mrs. Tanner

WISDOM WRITERS The poet Muriel Rukeyser wrote that,

Some students participate in lunchtime

“The universe is made of stories, not atoms.” One

Wisdom Writer groups throughout sixth, seventh,

of the key ideas in Wisdom Writers is that ‘no

and eighth-grades. Here’s what a few departing

one on Earth has your fingerprints, and no one

eighth-graders had to reflect about the program as

but you has lived your story.’ From this notion, it

their ‘elder wisdom’ for students next year:

follows that the greatest authority for our stories is none other than ourselves.

“Wisdom Writers helped me to write more in depth, and express what was going on at the

Middle-school is a perfect time to begin

time and in the past. I’ve had the best time in this

the lifelong quest to discover threads of meaning

class, from writing about emotions that I couldn't

and purpose within our stories. When this quest

express by words, or hanging out with friends

is undertaken on the page (or the computer), it

whom I made in this group.”

can reverse our whole relationship to writing;

“Wisdom

Writers

inspired

me

and

oftentimes from boredom and frustration, to a

changed my life. It helped me appreciate the art

sense of discovery and illumination. Students

of writing and changed my life; because I will

who already love writing, find they can go deeper

never think of a writing assignment as homework

into the process.

anymore; I think of it as another way to put my

Wisdom Writers encourages and guides

opinion into writing and connect with others

students to discover a compass of core values that

whom I will never lose sight of and for whom I

can help towards bringing clarity and direction to

will always be grateful!”

both their educational and life journeys. Like the central sun round which the planets orbit, our core values provide light and order. In other cultures and times, the ages 1114 were times when young people underwent rites of passage, celebrating the transition from child to young adult. In Wisdom Writers, we like to say that students undertake a write of passage, using the writing process to help them move into the next stage of their lives.

Wisdom Writers Circle Where Great Writers Gather!

KARE Talent Show “Panthers Perform!” The 1st KARE Talent Show fundraiser, “Panthers Perform” was a truly inspiring event! Over 350 guests were treated to stunning performances; from dancers to magicians, singers to gymnasts—and even a Rubik’s Cube wizard! Students performed with remarkable poise and artistry, and there was a wonderful camaraderie among the performers. Stay tuned to future KARE Kronicles, PTO news-blasts, and other sources of PDCMS event news for advance word on the Second Annual, KARE Panthers Perform Talent Show, to be held Spring, 2018! It will be a magnificent event! 1st Annual KARE Talent Show , 3/31/17

Mindful Parenting Beginning in late Fall 2017, KARE will offer a special evening class for parents wishing to learn tools of Mindfulness to strengthen communication, kindness, and discipline in their families. This five-week class will be available to all PDCMS parents or guardians. Please email Dr. Shefa if you are interested in attending an introductory meeting in October. ([email protected])

KARE Individual Mentoring Individual Mentoring thru the KARE Program: Middle school is a time of many transitions; from the single classroom format of elementary school, to the multi-class period format of 6th, 7th, and 8th-grade. Students also face many other developmental challenges as they move into and through adolescence. Some students undergo major crises or traumas, even while struggling to meet academic and social pressures. With Individual Mentoring, students are given the reflection, encouragement, insight, and tools needed in order to navigate this critical rite-of-passage time of middle-school. Page 7

Organization

F OU N DAT I ON A 501 (c)(3) nonprofit Program Mentor-Director Jacob Shefa, Ph.D [email protected] 760-862-4320 74-200 Rutledge Way Palm Desert, CA 92260

The KARE Program is made possible by the spirited, collaborative support of the PDCMS Foundation, Principal, Sallie Fraser, the PDCMS Counseling staff, Governing Board, and PTO; along with so many amazing teachers, parents, and generous organizations and individuals.

Most of all, thank you to our inspiring students!

Please help KARE continue to grow—Become a Donor today! 100% of your tax-deductible contribution to KARE goes directly to serve our students. Donations can be made to: Palm Desert Charter Middle School Foundation, 74200 Rutledge Way, Palm Desert, CA 92260. Please tear off this form and include it with your check to: PDCMS Foundation (indicate “For KARE Program” on your check). Donor Name(s): ________________________________________________________________________________ Business Name (if applicable): _____________________________________________________________________ Address: ______________________________________________________________________________________ Email: ________________________________________________________________________________________ Donation amount: ___$25

___$50

___$100

PDCMS Foundation Tax I.D. #204151864

Other: ______