DO I BELONG IN O-ANON? (This is a simple evaluation you can do for yourself to help decide if O-Anon is for you.) If your life is adversely affected by the behavior, health, or appearance of a friend, spouse, or other relative because of their eating habits, O-Anon may be for you. The principles of O-Anon are not concerned with the arguments in the medical community about whether compulsive behaviors such as overeating are form of mental or physical disease, or merely the result of lack of self-determination or willpower. O-Anon members have found that their lives have been negatively affected by a person with an eating disorder, the source of which need not be precisely analyzed. Many O-Anon members have found that they have often been in denial of negative effects on themselves. They have not faced the problem until the pain involved in their relationships became so great that they finally sought help whether or not the other person sought help. Some O-Anon members have felt anger, guilt, rejection, and despair while watching loved one slowly eating themselves to death in an endless cycle of aborted willpower games. Often, we in OAnon have experienced the thought that if only we had tried harder he or she would be okay. The problems in the pain are a common bond that brings us together to seek solutions and recovery for ourselves. The following statements are paraphrased from the expressions of members of O-Anon in telling their stories of recovery. If you ever have the thought or behavior noted in a statement, place a checkmark in the box for that statement. Be honest with yourself.

o 1. I have hidden food so that the compulsive eater couldn't eat it. o 2. I have joined an exercise program just to get my compulsive eater to join. o 3. I have gone on diets myself, hoping to get my compulsive eater to change eating habits. o 4. I have bought the groceries to keep the compulsive eater from buying foods that contribute to the disorder. o 5. I have avoided social engagements because of embarrassment caused by the appearance of my compulsive eater or because I am afraid he or she might binge. o 6. I've eaten food I really didn't want or thrown it away to keep the compulsive eater from eating it. o 7. I have left literature and nutritional information lying around in hopes that the compulsive eater will read it. o 8. I have counted calories and measured the food for my compulsive eater. o 9. I get angry and frustrated when a compulsive eater fails another diet. o 10. I want to tell the compulsive eater, "Can't you see that you are killing yourself?" o 11. I sometimes get depressed and withdraw from the compulsive eater because somehow I feel that I have failed to fix him or her.

o 12. I sometimes get angry when the compulsive eater takes other people's advice but ignores mine. o 13. I have "gotten even" in little sneaky ways with my compulsive eater out of frustration over his or her eating habits or their appearance. o 14. I have felt emotionally, physically, and/or sexually “turned off" by the behavior or appearance of the compulsive eater but can't express it to him or her in a loving way. o 15. I sometimes get angry at my compulsive eater when he or she denies aspects of their behavior when I have already shown him or her the evidence of it. o 16. I have looked into the refrigerator and experienced the sinking feeling when I have realized that the whole cake or dessert was gone. o 17. I have had the thought that I will never be able to really enjoy life unless the compulsive eater "shapes up". o 18. I have wished there were other people like myself with whom I could talk about my relationship with the compulsive eater and get their support. o 19. I have felt trapped in my relationship with the compulsive eater – this is not what it was supposed to be like. o 20. I sometimes think that I have been made to feel guilty by my compulsive eater.

o 21. I have made excuses to others about my compulsive eater during his or her cycle of eating, dieting, and eating again.

o 30. I feel really frustrated over the fact that my compulsive eater still acts crazy even though he or she has lost weight.

o 22. I have thought that if only the compulsive eater would get in recovery and stay that way everything would be okay.

o 31. I sometimes feel threatened that if my compulsive eater gets thin and attractive then he or she might leave me. o 32. I would really like to get help for myself and my compulsive eater(s) so that we could recover together.

o 23. I get tired of constantly being on an emotional roller coaster and having to walk on eggshells.

If you relate to any of these statements, you may be willing to take certain steps to help you in your recovery. O-Anon can help with the pain associated with each of the check marks. Members believe that help is available by applying the twelve steps of recovery adapted by O-Anon. We invite you to join us as we share our experience, strength and hope. ©1993 O-Anon General Service Office

o 24. I have sometimes thought: "Why can't he or she just stop eating? It's simple; I do it all the time; just use a little willpower." o 25. I think that it's silly to compare compulsive eating with alcoholism or drug addiction, and it certainly isn't a disease. o 26. I think that I'm all right, and I really don't need help – it's just the compulsive eater who has the problem. o 27. I have thought that the only reason I keep this relationship going with the compulsive eater is because of the children.



The Twelve suggested steps of recovery for O-Anon are: 1. We admitted we were powerless over food – that our lives had become unmanageable. 2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. 3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

o 28. I have thought that–if only I knew then what I know now I would never have gotten involved with the compulsive eater.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

o 29. I have sometimes thought that my compulsive eater eats to get even with me and if he or she really loved me enough he or she would stop eating compulsively.

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. 9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. 10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it. 11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. 12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.





Do I Belong in O-Anon? For O-Anon information: www.o-anon.org To contact O-Anon email: [email protected] O-Anon GSO postal address: P.O. Box 34642 San Antonio, TX 78265 USA