Awaiting Pentecost Excerpts of talk given on Acts 1:1-4, by Archimandrite Aimilianos at Simonos Petras 26 April, 1977

After the passion, He presented Himself living… (Acts 1:3)

If there’s anything that gives meaning to our life here, and if there’s anything that imparts a spiritual dimension to our time, it’s the fact that what we’re doing here is apostolic and makes us apostles as well….

Whoever is able to accept suffering, whoever is able to die the death granted to Him by the Father, is able to participate in the true eternal life of Christ. If he cannot or will not do this, then his life is a living death, “for whoever seeks to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life will preserve it” (Lk 17:33).

No matter what we do, no matter how much we exert ourselves, no matter how much we weep, there’s absolutely nothing that we ourselves can achieve, “because it depends not on man’s will or exertion but upon God’s mercy” (Rom. 9:16). All we can achieve is what God wants to give us…. When He does “present Himself to us living”, we’ll be able to receive Him only by ceaselessly yielding and surrendering to Him; only by our utter self-denial and voluntary death (cf. Mt. 16:24). The more we await His arrival by means of such a death, the more He desires to enter our lives. Whether we believe or not, we belong to God. Whether we understand it or not, or feel His presence or not or rejoice in that presence or not, He exists. He is my God. He is my Lord. Even during moments of darkness and terror, when God doesn’t exist for me, He still exists. When I feel I’m a failure, when all my efforts seem fruitless, when my life seems to have passed in vain, Christ is still my Christ. He is there for me no matter what happens. He exists irrespectively of my capabilities, capacities, and comprehension. I might imagine that God is small. But God is great. I might think that God doesn’t hear. But He does. And He has given Himself entirely to me, so that there’s only one possibility of failure: for me to break off my relationship with the “One who exists” (Ex. 3:14)…. It is extremely important that I know this truth, and thus be able to feel - literally, palpably - the mystery of a love that renders Him immune, as it were, to my own will or actions. God remains the God of love, the God of majesty, the God of glory, the God of strength, the God Who achieves anything He wants to. And as He was to all the apostles, the prophets, and the saints, so He is to me, however small, sinful, destitute, and worthless I may be. Christ “presented Himself living” in order to show his disciples that, if there was any point to their existence, it was precisely the vision of God: in “seeing” the living Christ. True communication with God is not simply thinking about God; neither is it a

loving disposition toward Him. Instead, it is perfect knowledge of Him, a “grasping” of God in the sense of taking possession of hIm, making Him your own, having an experience of God as “living”…. The aim of life is the vision of God: to see and enjoy the living God…. I live only when the purpose and the aim of my life is the living Christ. Man is caught up in a struggle between darkness and light, between corruption and incorruption, between death and life, and thus between hell and God. In such a predicament, man falls and rises and falls again. And this is why, even though Christ “presented Himself living,’ He also established within the Church the mystery of repentance and the sacrament of confession so that man can constantly enjoy the right to assume, to make his own, the life of God... We see God bending down, taking “the dust of the earth” (Gen. 2:7), in order to fashion Adam in such a way that, the moment his eyes opened, he would see God… When he opened his eyes, he saw and knew nothing else but God and HIs tender embrace. Christ was so close!… Despite the spiritual death of the first man, the living God continues to stand at his side. Even though Adam has fallen into hell, God is ready to raise him up. God seeks out a thousand ways to manifest His life to man, to reveal how close He is - so close that we can hear His voice, feel His breath upon us. Despite all of this, man remains as insensitive and immovable as a stone! God comes as the “voice of a gentle breeze” and imparts His grace to the prophets (3 Kgs 19:12), but man quickly forgets this. God slays the false prophets (3 Kgs 18:40), but this too, man forgets. God Himself comes and grants the people miraculous victories, over which they rejoice, but soon forget (Ex. 17:9-13); Josh 6:12-20). God forgives the sins of Israel, and again the people rejoiced, but continued to sin, forgetting God Who forgave them. He led them through the wilderness, where He fed them with manna from heaven, water from the rock, quails from the sky, and gave them everything they needed to know that God was with them, that His life was being made available to them. But in the end they forgot Him… “The desert’s burning you by day, and you want to be cool. Very well. I’ll become a cloud in order to refresh you. At night you want light. At night, then, I’ll become a pillar of fire. When you set out on your journey, know that I have already risen and gone before you, so that you can see Me. When you stop to rest, I am already there, waiting for you. As you draw near to the tent of witness, I’m there, too, and you hear Me. Wherever you go, whatever you do, I am there.”… Think about the toil that God undertakes on your behalf.. He has become everything, entwined with all things, interwoven with all things. The Kingdom of God is the place where God rests, the place where He exists. But it is not something separate fro Him; not something that exists apart from Him, outside of Him. The kingdom is the body of God, the body of Christ, the Church. It’s as if Christ is saying: “Today I present Myself to you living but from now on, it will be the kingdom itself, the Church itself, that will render Me present.” From now on whenever you gather together “you” will be My living person and image.

“You want that which is visible. You prefer the earth, and the company of y our fellow man. So be it. You shall find Me in your neighbor, in your fellow man…. And now I become a drop of blood. A quantity of flesh. ‘But I can’t eat raw flesh’, you say, and thus I provide you with bread, your daily nourishment, which is readily, easily obtained, so that you won’t have to wear yourself out looking for it. I take the bread you eat and I make it Christ!” “And since you can’t eat bread without wine, I take your wine, which you enjoy, which ‘gladdens you heart’, and I make that Christ too. I do not offer you that which you don’t want, what you’re not capable of receiving, or what frightens or revolts you, but the very things you need and long for. You’d like a glass of wine. I become an overflowing chalice! You drink it, and you’re drinking Me!” Do you see how easy Christ is, how simple!